Funk Town

Remember that song? "right about now....the funk so bruthuh..." HA! ok I'll admit I actually liked it...it was catchy! Anyway, today's post isn't me reminiscing about 90s music....unfortunately it's about the fact that I get into a funk sometimes. Like a depressive funk. And it's hard to get out of it because sometimes I want to wallow.

I have a lot of great things going on in my life. In fact, my last blog post was all about those great things and how excited I am! Like any normal human being, I also have a few really negative things in my life as well. I am totally a proponent of cutting negative things out of your life and staying positive etc etc etc...and in effect, that's what I'm trying to do, but unfortunately some past choices are literally haunting me and there is nothing I can do about it.

If I had a platform to speak to young adults/teens, one of the things I would warm them about is how your choices have the potential to affect you years to come. Certainly far beyond what you may expect. I made a major life decision when I was 21 (?), and it has had so many negative consequences I can't even tell you. Of course God uses those things and has blessed me abundantly far beyond what I deserve and I have grown a lot due to those experiences. But occasionally, it just hurts. And today was one of those days where it was overwhelming and it felt unfair. I woke up this morning having to deal with the repercussions, and when I found out that today was just another day without a resolution but that I would have to continue dealing with this some more I cried. And then when I was done crying I settled into my sorry for myself funk. It all boils down to control doesn't it? I don't like this situation because I can't control the outcome. It makes me anxious and it makes me sad. But I know I can only wallow for so long. It's not fair to my amazing, supportive, loving husband, it's not fun for me, and it's unproductive.

And I know that God is in control. If I didn't believe in Jesus as my Savior, if I didn't have hope for a better future, I don't know what I would do in these situations. I am so thankful for the HOPE I have in Jesus. The fact that He is in control is comforting because if I am going to release control to anyone.....I think He's my best bet :-)




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